Learning how to effectively process hurt and pain is important since we all have experienced such during our lives. We live in a world filled with turmoil and we have all experienced rejection. Rejection brings all sorts of negative emotions. A person often finds themselves questioning why and how. Wondering if we should have done something different and if we did, would it have turned out differently. A person may even find themselves doubting God’s goodness. During times of loss, anger must be dealt with. Maybe you are angry that your vulnerability gave someone the ability to hurt you. When people are hurt, they often feel lonely, like no one understands or cares. We may experience regret or even remorse. These feelings affect us all, but how should a Christian process hurt and pain? The answer is “Through Trusting, Deep Relationship with Christ!”

When it comes to dealing with the hurt and pain that we encounter during the journey of life, there is often an endless supply of advice that well-meaning Christians can offer. When we or those we love are hurting we want answers, and we want them NOW! We want a solution to ease the pain and to fix the problem. If there are delays in getting answers or finding solutions, we often find ourselves asking God or others, “Why?” Why did this happen to me, or we may find ourselves asking “what,” what have I done wrong? What haven’t I done properly? What am I to do to fix this? The bottom line is we may find ourselves becoming demanding of God or others. “Why am I still facing this and how can I get over it?”

The problem with solution focused demanding answers is that our focus is often on ourselves and the problem rather than God. The negative consequence of the problem is what is focused on and thus, causes us anger which is often followed by regret. It is truly unfortunate that many Christians view God as “The Answer” and the Bible as “the answer book” for all of life’s problems. When they do so, they lack trust.
We might say that pain and brokenness have purpose. As already stated, we all experience pain, and suffering at some time in our lives. While our natural reaction to pain is to avoid it, get rid of it, or numb it; we need to realize that God allows pain. In fact, our suffering is a sign of God’s love and grace. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

As we rely on God’s grace through the suffering and pain of life, we discover that we are not hopeless pawns but rather participants with Him. It is through the bigger picture of the ups and downs of life that we experience intimacy with God working for our intended good (Romans 8:28). Pain is an opportunity not for God to see how strong you are, but for you to see how strong He is. For you to learn to derive from Him, in your time of need. He is inviting you to enter Deep Relationship – Through Trusting, Christ!
As with everything in our Christian lives, we must begin with God. God is good – and because He is Love, He is trustworthy. Apart from this absolute, we have no foundation on which to stand. He must be our life, our center, the core of who we are to face suffering as He intended. As Jesus said, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” Again, He said in John 10:10, “I came that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” Jesus promised us in John 16:33 “In this world you will have tribulation but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

God’s primary purpose when it comes to healing is to heal that which hinders us from experiencing Him in relational intimacy. He wants to heal the wounds that are inside of us, in our soul; Wounds that often hinder us from experiencing relational intimacy with Him. Something has come between us and Him and He wants to heal that which is separating us from Him. He uses everything, even those things we would not consider to be for our good even that which is evil. He is not the author of evil, nor does He cause evil, but nonetheless He will use all things for His glory. We often struggle with the problem of pain in this world because there is no easy answer that will take away our pain.

God is bigger than what we are struggling with and wants us to relationally trust Him in all things, not simply by fixing it or taking it away, but allowing us the time to discover His loving goodness even in our darkest most painful moments of life. God’s remedy for our pain is not often in answers to our questions or solutions to our problems. It is much better! It is an invitation for us to experience a deep relationship of trust with Him. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord And whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8). It might be said that “Pain gives you what happiness never could.” Pain reveals God’s availability and sufficiency.

In the Gospel of John when Lazarus falls ill, Jesus does not immediately come to his rescue. In fact, He allows Lazarus to suffer and die from his sickness. Lazarus’ family, including Mary and Martha, are heartbroken over their loss. So, why does Jesus allow all this suffering? He tells us, “It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” God allows suffering to bring Himself glory.

We certainly haven’t answered all the questions related to the topic of pain and suffering but if you were listening carefully, that was not our purpose, but rather to shed light on the subject. The brevity of life which is heightened through pain and suffering reveals the eternality of Christ as our life. As Paul states in 2 Cor. 4:17-18, “This slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This verse pinpoints God’s purpose and our part in this most important discussion. Peter writes, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice in as much as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” (1 Peter 4:12-13). May our prayer be as Paul wrote to the Philippian church, “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).