When it comes to porn, the question facing many men and women is simple: is it really wrong? Someone may ask, “Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, it is just an image on a screen. It is not someone I know, or someone I am having an actual affair with, so, I am still faithful to my future (or current) spouse. And is not sex a good thing, so what is wrong in watching it happen? I am just admiring beauty.”
People continue to ask the same questions about porn that they have for decades. Is porn good for us or bad for us? Is it immoral or is it empowering? Damaging or liberating? One question that is not being asked, “What is porn doing to us and are we okay with that?”

Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” According to Jesus, pornography is adultery committed in the heart.

Porn is a real problem in America today, a major problem. Every Day 37 pornographic videos are created in the United States. 2.5 billion emails containing porn are sent or received. 68 million search inquiries relate to pornography – 25% of total searches. About 200,000 Americans are classified as “porn addicts.” 40 million American people regularly visit porn sites. 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography. One-third of porn viewers are women.

Pornography is affecting marriages and families in a profound way. According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families, 47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home. Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%. 40 percent of people identified as “sex addicts” lose their spouses, 58 percent suffer considerable financial losses, and about 33% lose their jobs. 68% of divorce cases involve one party meeting someone “new” over the internet.

Even the church has been adversely influenced by pornography. The statistics for porn in the church are staggering. 1 in 5 youth pastors and 1 in 7 senior pastors use porn on a regular basis and are currently struggling. That is more than 50,000 U.S. church leaders. 43% of senior pastors and youth pastors say they have struggled with pornography in the past. 64% of Christian men and 15% of Christian women say they watch porn at least once a month.

There is a danger however, with focusing purely on the data, of the creation and consumption of pornographic content. The personal practical dangers facing people can be easily overlooked by merely focusing on statistics.

The sheer magnitude of available online pornography is merely one aspect of a larger issue that plagues society. For example, pornography hurts teens. It increases the odds of teenage pregnancy. Teen pregnancy is twice as high when the teen has been exposed to pornography. Viewing pornography raises the risk of depression. Frequent pornography viewing increases the feelings of loneliness, including major depression and low self-esteem. It creates distorted expectations which hinder healthy sexual development.

Pornography has a negative effect on marriage and the sexual union of married partners. It damages the sexual performance of the viewers. Men who view pornography tend to have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. People who view porn seem to find it difficult to have sex with a real human being. Pornography raises unrealistic expectation and demand for types and amounts of sexual experiences, and at the same time, it is reducing their ability to experience fulfilling sex.

The prolonged effects to being exposed to pornography diminishes trust between intimate couples. It promotes the belief that promiscuity is normal. It undermines the family. Porn develops a lack of interest to family and child-raising.

What is the real issue of this moral dilemma? Interestingly, the real issue is not morality. Christianity is not morality. Religion tries to attribute morality to actions. Good or bad. Sexual intercourse is amoral. God made it possible when he created mankind “male and female” (Gen. 1:27). And He said, it is “Very good” (Gen. 1:31). Therefore, spiritual character of good or evil can be expressed within the act of sex. Character is always an either/or character expression. Either Godly, righteous, faithful character or sinful, selfish, unfaithful character.

The question must be asked, “How, then is the problem of pornography solved?” It is not solved by traditional remedies. The problem is not solved by censorship of graphic materials, or to legislate behavior/morality. The real issue is the character of God, not experiencing such. God’s character is that of purity, holiness, faithfulness, love. The only way to have and express such is spiritual regeneration. Such character will first be found in thought and emotion, and then in action. It is possible to have sexual intercourse between a married couple and it be “immoral.” How is that possible you ask?

Failure to have God’s character during our sexual thoughts and actions would be “immoral.” Because the alternative to having the character of God is to have the character of the Evil One, the Devil. Immorality and adultery are identified with death and idolatry in scripture. When we attribute “worth to,” and “live for,” something other than God it is idolatry. The only true victory over any sin, including pornography is by the indwelling presence and outworking character of God in Christ within our sexual thought and behavior.

Who or what we are connected to really matters. Understanding how God has designed us to function is central to experiencing Life As God Intended. Understanding our human functionality (including our sexuality) is vital to consistently behaving as a Christian. For the Christian, spiritual union is the core of our identity. As we learn to derive from Christ as our life, we mature, and develop as the whole mature people God intended. This is true in all aspects of our life including our sexual choices. The psychological, behavioral, and emotional habits that form our sexual character will be based on the decisions we make.

There is no such thing as “just looking” at porn. As human beings we have the need for human intimacy. Intimacy is not just a one-time event but is an ongoing need, just like food or water. God created us with the desire for ongoing, deepening intimacy. Intimacy is what drives us to know and to be known. Intimacy is more than sex. It is what motivates us to be relationally connected. It is at the heart of our God given relational design; you might say it is in our spiritual DNA. Allow the intimate embrace of Jesus to transform your entire person today.